hen couples are looking for a marriage counseling therapist, a question that is most often asked is, “How am I supposed to know if I married the right person?” In the beginning, as you were falling in love with your spouse, you anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked all the silly things they said. It wasn’t hard for you to fall in love. It felt absolutely natural and you didn’t even have to do anything. It just happened. I guess that’s why it’s called “falling” in love…there’s not much you can do to prevent it 연애상담.
After a couple years of marriage, the newness and “butterflies” of love begin to fade. This is the natural cycle that happens in every relationship. Eventually, the phone calls seem to become a bother. When either of you offer a touch, IF it is offered, it is not always welcome, and the silly things your spouse used to say, instead of being cute, start to be irritating.
At this stage in your marriage, these symptoms can be very different, depending on the couples and their circumstances. If you think about it, you will notice a big difference in the initial stage in your marriage when you were very much in love and different, subsequent stage where you are now in your marriage.
At this point, marriages start to breakdown. As you reflect on the love you once had and think about all the changes that have occurred in the past few years, you and/or your spouse ask the question, “Did I marry the right person?” You might even begin to desire the loving experience with someone else. Usually, this is when people blame their spouse for their unhappiness and start to look outside their marriage for the loving fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment can occur in many different ways. But the answers to your problems do not lie outside your marriage. Rather, the answers lay within it. Succeeding in a marriage doesn’t mean going out and finding the “right person”, it means learning to love the person you’ve already found – again.
Make no mistake about it, love is no mystery. There are specific things you can do, with or without your spouse, with or without a marriage counseling therapist, to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe, there are also laws for relationships. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable-you can “make” love.
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